"Purpose ignites passion,
passion drives success"

Are you living a life complacently numb? This refers to a state where someone goes through the motions of daily life without truly engaging or feeling deeply. It's a state of emotional or psychological detachment, often marked by a lack of passion, purpose, or fulfilment. Individuals who feel this way may have become numb to their emotions, desires, and the things that once brought them joy, finding themselves simply "existing" rather than truly living. Here's what that might look like and why it happens:

Signs of Living Complacently Numb:

1. Emotional Detachment: You may feel disconnected from your own emotions or have difficulty experiencing joy, sadness, excitement, or anger. Life may feel like it’s happening around you, but you’re not fully participating.
2. Lack of Purpose or Drive: You may feel as though you’re drifting through life without a clear goal, passion, or reason to strive for more. This often manifests as going through the motions—waking up, working, eating, sleeping, and repeating the cycle without a sense of meaning.
3. Routine Overload: Life can feel like an endless series of tasks and routines that you do out of habit, rather than because they bring any satisfaction or growth. Days and weeks blur together without anything exciting or inspiring.
4. Avoidance of Change: The idea of making changes or taking risks feels exhausting or overwhelming. You might stay in situations, jobs, or relationships that no longer serve you simply because they’re familiar or comfortable.
5. Disconnect from Others: Relationships with family, friends, and colleagues can become shallow or strained. You might not feel the need to connect on a deeper emotional level, or feel exhausted by social interactions, leading to withdrawal.
6. Physical Symptoms of Exhaustion or Burnout: This numbness can extend to the body as well, leading to chronic fatigue, insomnia, or general feelings of sluggishness. Physical health may decline because emotional and mental well-being are being neglected.

Why Does It Happen?

1. Burnout: When people push themselves too hard for too long—either in work, relationships, or other commitments—they may burn out. Burnout can cause a person to feel drained, disconnected, and unable to care about things that once mattered.
2. Emotional Overwhelm: Experiencing prolonged stress, trauma, or emotional pain can lead to emotional numbing as a coping mechanism. It's a way the mind and body try to protect themselves from feelings that are too intense to process.
3. Fear of Vulnerability: Some people shut down emotionally because they fear being hurt, judged, or rejected. By numbing themselves, they avoid vulnerability and the potential for emotional pain.
4. Lack of Fulfilment: When people are stuck in jobs, routines, or situations that don’t align with their values or passions, they may begin to feel uninspired or disillusioned. Without a sense of purpose, it’s easy to fall into complacency.
5. Unresolved Mental Health Issues: Anxiety, depression, or other mental health struggles can lead to feelings of numbness. These conditions often make it difficult for individuals to connect to their emotions or find meaning in life.
6. Societal Pressure and Expectations: Sometimes, societal norms and expectations (such as the pressure to "succeed" in traditional ways) lead people to pursue goals that aren't truly their own. This can lead to a sense of disconnection from their own desires and passions, as they live out a life based on external validation.

How to Break Free from Complacency:

1. Revisit Your Values and Goals: Reflect on what truly matters to you. Reconnect with the things you once cared about—whether that’s personal growth, relationships, creativity, or a sense of purpose in your work. Setting meaningful goals that align with your values can reignite passion and motivation.
2. Practice Self-Compassion: If you're feeling numb, it’s important to approach yourself with kindness and patience. Understand that numbness might be a sign that you need rest, self-care, or emotional healing, and allow yourself the space to process those feelings.
3. Engage in Activities That Challenge You: Sometimes, stepping out of the comfort zone and trying something new—whether it’s a hobby, skill, or even a new way of thinking—can help break the cycle of numbness. Novel experiences engage both the mind and body, helping you feel more alive.
4. Seek Support: Talking to a therapist or counsellor can be incredibly helpful in understanding why you feel numb and how to move forward. Emotional numbness can be linked to deeper issues, and professional support can help you process those. Equally talking to someone who has been through this life event and overcome those feelings can be powerful - showing us that it is possible to live a life of purpose and passion. 
5. Mindfulness and Presence: Practicing mindfulness or meditation can help you reconnect with the present moment and your emotions. Instead of focusing on the past or future, try to cultivate awareness of what you are feeling right now, without judgment.
6. Social Connection: Even if you feel like withdrawing, it’s important to maintain connections with others. Being around supportive, understanding people who care about you can help you feel seen and valued, which in turn can help break the cycle of numbness.
7. Physical Activity and Self-Care: Sometimes, physical health can impact emotional well-being. Regular exercise, eating well, and getting enough rest can help boost your mood and energy levels, breaking the numbness caused by physical fatigue.
8. Focus on Small Wins: Sometimes the idea of making a big change is overwhelming. Instead, focus on small, achievable actions each day that help you feel more alive and engaged. These small wins build momentum toward a larger sense of fulfilment.

Conclusion

Living complacently numb can feel isolating, but it's important to understand that this state is often a coping mechanism or a sign that something in life needs attention or change. By taking gradual steps to reconnect with your emotions, values, and goals, it is possible to reignite a sense of passion and meaning in life. Remember that seeking help from professionals, like a counsellor or therapist, combined with lived experience experts can be an important part of the process, as they can offer guidance in navigating through these feelings and showing you the art of the possible.

Put Down the Alcohol and Rekindle Your Passion for Intimacy!

Do you remember those “Dear Agony Aunt” columns from when our parents sought advice for their dilemmas? Today, we have social media and a flood of information at our fingertips. In this blog, I aim to take us back to those simpler times, sharing insights on common issues I notice in my work. My goal is to reach out to those who may feel isolated or confused and remind them that natural well-being life coaching offers alternative support .

As an accredited and experienced life coach, my mission is to empower individuals to discover their inner strength and tools for lasting solutions to life’s challenges, whether they involve career confidence, health-related struggles, stressful relationships, financial pressures, or emotional and spiritual hurdles.

In this particular blog, I want to focus on passion and body confidence for those over 40, and how these aspects often diminish when couples start a family, launch a business, or take on demanding careers, especially as they enter middle age. It’s common for couples to experience a decline in passion, making intimacy a lesser priority.

But why is this happening? In our 40s, we are at our peak! This is the perfect time to be passionate and open about our desires! However, many women face challenges such as perimenopause, while men may experience a drop in testosterone levels. Stress certainly plays a significant role too. Yet, more frequently, the decline in intimacy is a result of unhealthy daily habits, lack of discipline, excuses, and poor communication within relationships. For instance, many women find themselves juggling multiple responsibilities—raising children, managing a career, caring for elderly parents—leading them to use alcohol as a way to unwind in the evenings. Unfortunately, this doesn’t actually relax them; it can exacerbate hormonal imbalances and lead to issues like weight gain, high blood pressure, brain fog, guilt, and shame. Over time, long-term alcohol use can erode both body confidence and mental well-being, ultimately reducing libido. The same applies to men, who may also turn to alcohol for similar reasons. I often reflect on the scenario where, once the children leave home, couples are left with each other—the mother or father of their children. It’s vital that both partners prioritise their own well-being and their relationship, even while raising kids.

Solutions:

1. Consider taking a break from alcohol and observe how you feel. You might be pleasantly surprised to find your hormones balancing and your confidence and passion returning. Give it a try! 

2. Enlist an accountability buddy—someone you trust who genuinely wants to help you break unhealthy habits.

3. Establish daily, consistent habits focused on natural well-being to enhance your body confidence and safeguard your relationship. 

4. Make time to communicate calmly and lovingly with each other. A walk in nature together can work wonders. Remember who you were before the kids came along or before your business took off. Enjoy day dates—they can be delightful!

5. Seek coaching and online support from an experienced and accredited life coach who understands the issues you face and has personally navigated similar challenges. If needed, don’t hesitate to seek additional support. 

• I firmly believe that relationships can rediscover their passion and desire for one another, especially if it existed before life’s stresses and challenges took over.

In addition to her role as a healthcare business consultant, Katy is actively involved with her local mental health trust, leveraging her personal experiences as a caregiver. She is a certified practitioner in trauma recovery, NLP, EFT, and physical fitness. Katy's journey has seen her overcome numerous challenges, including work and exercise addiction, eating disorders, complex PTSD, insomnia, panic disorders, stress, and emotional burnout. Her lifelong commitment to natural therapies has played a crucial role in helping her navigate the obstacles she faced in her 20s and 30s, and it continues to guide her through future challenges. After experimenting with both medication and natural wellness methods, she discovered that medication often masked problems instead of resolving them. Through her personal healing journey and lived experiences, Katy examined various Western medical models of healthcare before developing her own program. She has empowered others with similar experiences to begin their healing journeys. Her program focuses on natural well-being and scientific principles, encompassing all aspects of wellness: mind, body, and spirit. Katy is passionate about raising awareness of the health risks associated with long-term medication prescriptions, which can impede the natural healing process and brain health development. Her program is designed to consider the whole individual, striving for optimal well-being. She has supported individuals in overcoming mental health challenges, including suicidal thoughts, addictions, low self-esteem, and panic attacks. Katy motivates people to confront their fears by stepping outside their comfort zones and embracing the temporary discomfort essential for growth. With the guidance of her own well-being mentor and coach, who has supported her for the past 20 years in her quest for optimal health, Katy is now eager to share her lived experiences and knowledge to help others.

We all experience the same challenges. Life can be brutal. But why can some of us bounce back and others simply cannot? What even is mindset coaching & how can it benefit me?

During her mentoring and coaching sessions, Katy shares with her clients the tools and techniques that she used to quit coffee after a period of burnout and fatigue. 

Katy's change program comes from a place of authenticity and truth. She teaches her clients about the importance of connections and honest relationships. When we live a life that is true to ourselves, the whole self is able to move towards a place of optimum wellbeing. 

In March 2023, Katy Snelgrove chose to 'break the hereditary chain' and defy societal expectations by quitting alcohol. Since then, she has remained alcohol-free, with a strong commitment to stay sober until her children reach adulthood. Her six-step program for change highlights how she successfully gave up drinking for good after several unsuccessful attempts in her 20s and 30s.